First off, I want to say that I am incredibly thankful for my current situation and I am not trying to complain about it. However, I HAVE developed a problem of sorts with my work habits.
Last year I decided to work my butt off so I could pursue my dream of becoming a professional disc golfer. I was completely okay with pulling 15 hour days with 9 of that being my full time job and the rest being side jobs and the Whale Sacs biz. Now it's 2016 though, and I succeeded in getting myself financially and situationally in the right place to be living that dream (though I struggle with calling myself a professional golfer, more on that later) and those 15 hour days haven't worn off. It is a fact that most of my "work time" is spent doing things I like, including sewing, networking, web design, marketing and some disc golf events for the charity. There are, however, plenty of pieces that fry my brain but I have this terrible habit of waking up at 6 am work work working and then boom it's 10:30 at night and I have barely taken a break. I'm productive as hell, but I don't think it's really healthy anymore.
Last week I had a minor "melt down"- very very minor, but it happened either way. I was hoping to get out of town for the weekend because that's pretty much the only way I allow myself to take a day off. That didn't end up happening and it hit me harder than I expected (how little I let myself relax on a weekly/monthly basis). My girl Erika used to joke and send me examples of "how to relax" but it's not really a joke anymore. Something I will work on. I never as a kid, or high school student, or college adult pictured myself as a workaholic, frankly I didn't like working very hard at most things. But here I am, filing my first "Self-Employed" tax return and disc golfing and working with an amazing charity to grow the sport and I'm almost as stressed out as I was working at the bank.
But here's where I turn it around. Remember that amazing sport? The one where you go to a field or a course and throw frisbees as hard as you can? The one that is better than any therapy I could have ever gone to? Disc golf can be such an amazing healer. The day of my baby melt down, I remembered around 4pm that I hadn't gone and thrown yet. I went to the course - now a mile and a half from my house and I threw a round at Santa Cruz DGC by myself. I started off grumpy and frustrated with life but a few holes in (and with some help from Mr. Eric reminding me I'm always happy), all of a sudden, I was on top of the world again. My drives were connecting, I was throwing further than ever before, smashing putts like none other and parring holes from the long tee pads with drop in putts. Smiling, skipping, happy happy happy. I guess what I'm getting at is this sport has saved me so many times and I really don't know what I would do without it. This passion is what fuels my need to #GrowTheSport. I want the world to understand how healing and positive it can be. I want everyone's struggles to melt away the way it can for me. It's simply magic.
Ok ok, I'll get off my soap box now. Thanks for listening if you are and even further, for understanding.
Last note, remember when I said "more on being a professional disc golfer". Well I'm in a weird transition where I am completely living that Pro Golfer life, and finally starting to play like one. Everything I do for a job (or otherwise) has to do with disc golf and people outside of the PDGA consider me a professional golfer...so what about on the inside? I'm currently signed up for 3 open events in the next 3 months, I'm registered as an amateur player and plan to play mostly AM events this year. People keep referring to me as a pro and I always feel the need to correct them. Generally I just say "all I do is disc golf, but I'm still playing am events". What do YOU think?
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