I'm on the plane headed back from Santa Cruz, to Portland and I'll be going straight into the office as soon as I land. I used to fly like this many weekends last year just so I could keep playing events. It's certainly different than road life but it has it's perks for sure.
This weekend as part of the Women's Global Event I played Daisy chains in Watsonville, CA. I played this event for the first time last year and it is a must on my list of tournaments every year. I had a tough decision to make for this one though as I had the option to play the Discmania Combine in hopes of securing a sponsorship, something I've been wanting and working at for awhile now. Being a volunteer for Women's Disc Golf Outreach and being the women's advocate that I am in the sport, I made the tough choice to support and play the WGE instead. There will be opportunities later in the year, hopefully I can peruse sponsorship then.
Daisy chains is an event unlike any I've played. There are about 80 women of every division from all over, and the TD's do a tremendous job of making everyone, both experienced and newbies, feel welcome and taken care of.
This year I had the pleasure of meeting 9 new ladies on my cards. I didn't play with a single person I knew, and I know a ton of people at this tournament! That shows how much the sport is really growing and I'm so happy to be a part of it.
I'm thankful for my friends and "colleagues" that were there for me as I am walking away with my head hanging low. I finished in 7th this year, last year, still being so new, I finished 6th and spent my whole weekend on the lead card... I can't quite put into words what happened as I feel it was a little bit of everything possible going wrong. My round ratings are embarrassing and a month and a half ago, I was shooting 900 and borderline 900 almost every round. YUCK. My first round this year I was flipping everything over into OB and had to switch up distance drivers but the whole round felt compromised and timid. The second round started with some bad luck but started going well with mostly consistent pars for quite awhile then ending with a 6 double penalty on one of the shorter (though still difficult holes) which left me feeling defeated and only a 2 stroke improvement on the first round. Sunday was a new day and I was feeling strong and I was throwing far and consistently. I got off the tee pad better than I have in a long time since switching up my form. My upshots were decent too. My game was good, except all of a sudden, I couldn't putt. My mind was either racing or wandering for every putt. I tried so many tactics to clear my head before each putt and it just never worked. I carded a bogey on almost every hole. I'm not exaggerating. Any opportunity at a 15 foot putt for 3, I missed, and I couldn't believe it. I feel like I'm a great putter! In fact I know that I am. But the confidence wasn't there and that's a bigger part of the equation.
I had some good talks with Zoe, my disc golf angel, as she put it, as well as my friends Amanda and Laura. We've all been through it and they gave me some positive vibes, I've just been struggling for over a month now and it's wearing on me to a point that it's just not ok anymore.
I love disc golf. I need disc golf as my therapy. It gives my mind something to focus on when I'm upset or hurt, it gives me the the best friends in the world, it makes me feel accomplished, it gives me joy and pleasure un like anything I've done in my life and it connects me with nature in such a healthy way. I can't continue to be mad at disc golf, I need to find a solution and soon.
I'm seriously contemplating dropping a handful of the tournaments I have coming up shortly. Specifically Beaver State Fling (I'm signed up in open and its $185 I could dolphinately use for other things), and perhaps the Lynx. I need to do some thinking but I think easing up on competing while I work through this may be the best option.
I'm back at the bank now, there is a field down the road that I used to practice in every single day. I'm going to go back to that, hard training, as I have lost my schedule somewhere along the way and make it MORE important that I love the sport.
P.s. My good juju 2014 worlds bracelet broke last week which has brought me such good energy and inspiration since that one week that changed my life, Chris Edwards (the creator) came and did surgery on Sunday so I'm hoping that will help get me back in my groove too.
Life is different now, I have to adjust and be okay with the changes effecting me. I need to say thank you to my support system. Now more than ever I have felt the love and compassion of my disc golf homies. I would be so broken without you all: Shorty, Zoe, Eric, Amanda, Laura, Erika, Madison, Philo, Chris Tellesbo, Chris Edwards and so many more.
Next up: a weekend off in Santa Cruz vending for Whale Sacs!! I'm looking forward to being around all of my favorites but in a relaxed environment.
Peace, positivity, frisbees 4 lyfe
I forgot the plus side, I'm stronger and have been throwing destroyers and PD'S for distance now. That's nuts to me as flippy terns and TD2's have been my distance drivers in the past. Progress!
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