As promised earlier this week, my mentality switch to positive thinking has begun. Even just after a few days I can access my old self and see the parts of that girl I liked so much back then. It's not coming easily and this week has presented way more challenges than I had expected or desired but I've managed to bulldoze through them and keep myself afloat as much as possible while maintaining a really positive outlook.
I am playing a HUGE course this weekend. The Lynx is on a ball golf course totaling 13,000 feet, with a TON of par 4's and 5's. There are not many competitors in my division however one of my great great friends will be on my card. This week at my leagues, I did not allow myself to get defeated or frustrated despite not playing up to par (heh). The missed putts aren't so stressful, the early releases are worth a giggle and the OB strokes are only a mild inconvenience. The next stroke feels like a new opportunity instead of something to worry about. My game is not where I want it to be right now but letting it exist as it is for the time being feel so good and so relieving. I am not expecting anything out of myself this weekend except to make sure my card is having a good time, to show up and try my best, and to continue to repair my damaged soul.
I wanted to touch again on positivity and how quickly good things spread (and also how quickly the bad does also). Your card consists of different personalities, some social, some weary, some self conscious, some extremely negative. I myself have witnessed a group of these people, throughout a round start as such a mix-matched bunch, to giving high fives and "good shot's" and smiling and laughing together despite all of their differences. I have also been on the card with the one negative person that can bring the entire card down. Which do you want to be, and which do you think is better for everyone?
I had (I deleted "I have" because I'm moving forward) gotten selfish and internal and negative 1. It was ruining ME as a person in every aspect of my life. 2. It DOES effect the people around me and my game. 3. It turned into a scary spiral and lastly, now, finally 4. I am getting back to the GOOD. THANK YOU for everyone who has had faith in me that I would get past it, and has been there for me (and still are) no matter my bad attitude.
I am in a place now that I am seeing the lights, I am kicking the pinecones again and taking in the sun and keeping my chin up and absorbing good energy and therefore starting to radiate it again for you guys and for myself. Spread the positives and forget the negatives. Spread the love and you will receive it back 10 fold. I can't believe I forgot all of this...
We're all just throwing frisbees in a park right? That's really not so bad... ;)
Thanks for listening, and hanging in there with me.
Just a girl with a bunch of frisbees.
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